First, I owe a special thanks to two very special people who suffer in their own way and encouraged me to write, to start this journey connecting with people around the globe. To share my experiences as a survivor, as a christian as a father, son, husband and friend. Much love to M and B.
Some days I feel I can write non stop. Other days I don't know what to say. I write when I am inspired. What inspires me is giving. Giving back to others. Giving to those who need it far more than I. Giving outside the blog in person whether it be feeding the homeless, reaching out to a friend who needs an ear or hug. Having faith in Christ that I was put here for a good far greater than I am.
Meaning, when I first got sick. I don't know how many times I thought "God, why me?". Now I believe "God, why not me!" I believe my life, my journey is something far greater than myself. That what I share daily with people that I do it for the greater good.
Every single morning on Facebook I write" Good Morning Cluster heads.....and end it with have a pain free day!". Each day I do my best to write encouraging, inspiring words.
Some days I don't feel like writing jack squat. In fact last night someones snoring kept me up. Its ok. I rather be with her snoring than alone. And I do not let it ruin my day. Everyday is a chance. A chance to make a difference small or big. To be something great, do something great. Give back somewhere some how. Some days I affect everyone. Other days I help 1 person and no one knows about it.
On a rare occasion I get get news and glow ear to ear. I am a firm believer in Karma. You get what you give and you get what you deserve.
My life's journey is hard to explain to those who are not sick like me. I have never sought pity or I am not the type to scream"look at me", yet I am the type to scream"look at us". My goal one day is to get global awareness. I know its not going to happen over night. It has taken me awhile to get 1/4 million views. I am not Justin Bieber(a local kid from born here who I am happy for) and can get 10 million view in 24 hours. I am just Tom who survives the worlds most painful disease and lives each day with trying to do the next right thing.
Years ago when I wanted to die and was thinking there was no future. I prayed to God. I asked myself what was better. A son with no dad or a son with a very sick dad. My son stopped me and my faith guided me. I would have never imagined in a million years that my life would be where it is today. Yes I am still sick but my life isn't about the attack or my next attack. Life to me is about living in between attacks. I no longer am afraid to go to sleep.I am no longer worried when and how bad my next attack is going to be. Its going to happen. Its going to suck the life out of me during and after so why worry about it? Its not going to change. So live for now.
When I heard about brain surgery at the time 6 people had the surgery and 2 had died. The odds were not on my side. By the time I had brain surgery I was 1 of 17 who had DBS brain surgery. Now only 24 people world wide. I am 1 of 2 in Canada. I just didn't try this surgery for me. I did it for all of us. That is the gods honest truth.
I wake up each day smiling, loving life, grate full and blessed for my beautiful wife and son I am so proud of. They are the reason I fight, continue to live best I can. Each day is different. Some days are much harder than others. But out there someone is suffering worse, While some breath and complain, some are taking there very last breath.
One day, you will see my face plastered on TV somewhere or I will have assisted some how some other survivor to be interviewed only to make awareness possible about the disease. Having an attack in front of 500 people at a car show without a single person asking if I was ok, made me loose any any vanity I had. I am not afraid to tell my story, speak for those who hide in fear. Speak for those who cry inside, speak for those who are to scared to leave there own home. And speak for those who took their own life.
If you ask 1000 people at random what CH is, you will today get 1000 misinformed answers. Until we can ask 1000 people at random what CH is then we must keep educating, raising awareness without pity. Yes, we CH'rs have the worlds most painful disease. Yes, it sucks beyond words. But we must preservere. Must move forward. Educate, awareness, help, love and assist those. Too many people are dying from suicide from Cluster Headaches aka Suicide Headaches.
I ask you today, please forward my blog, my info to media, to CNN, to everywhere and anywhere. Again, I am NOT seeking fame, fortune, or status. I am am doing this for a far greater good than myself.
Blessings.
Search for me on Facebook by "ClusterHead Survivor" (space inbetween Head and Survivor)
Search for me on Twitter " @ClusterHeadTom "
Search for me on Google page "ClusterHeadSurvivor"
Search for me on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/user/ClusterHeadSurvivor/videos
And the logo below I made it myself. Its on every vehicle in my family to raise awareness.
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