Sunday, November 20, 2022

H.O.P.E. Hold On Pain Ends ..... whatever that pain is.

 A decade and a half of human torture and its over now. If you have read my blog before. You will know I endured the Worlds Most Painful Disease known to science for 15 years.  But this blog today is not about that. Its about a different kind of pain. A battle of 38 years in the making.

Trauma. What kind of trauma have you experienced? Is it mental health? This is a form of pain that even I can not explain. I personally have had multiple trauma's in my life. Chances are you have or will too in your lifetime. 

When I was first diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for a trauma I had, it was actually the second trauma. The first one happened when I was 12. But I managed to bury (suppress) that for 38 years.

I did not know it was PTSD. Not for the second or first traumas. By the 3rd and 4th traumas, I knew what was happening to me. Enough awareness, education and diagnosis was the end result of PTSD.

Unfortunately one of them opened "Pandora's Box" on me. Which opened the flood gates of HELL from my first and ongoing traumas. It happens. I thought I did a very good job of keeping that shit buried for almost 4 decades. 

I never knew until recently burying those traumas deep in my soul could cause more harm that good by trying to forget, not think and keep on keeping on. In fact. It was horrible. I've never felt this horrible in my entire life. Even after multiple brain surgeries.

Physical pain that I endured is so far different than mental pain I have endured. Absolute night and day. Even when I wanted to die. It was completely different. I wanted to live, just not at the expense it was costing me.  Mental health is far different. Completely. 

I am not claiming to be an expert on mental health advice or treatment. I am simply a person who fights daily with PTSD on different level. Where as the disease I had was pretty evident seeing me have attacks how much physical pain I was in. Mental Health people generally do not see, unless there has been significant weight gain and or loss. People being unkept, disheveled. Personally I gain weight when things are not well. It becomes a physical fight as well with yourself. A lot of people do not care you are unwell. They don't ask your well being. They don't ask how therapy is. People don't say shit. It is ok because this is a personal fight with yourself. Trying to heal yourself through whatever means you need to do to recover from trauma.

Therapy is changing the way you look at things. For me, I have been able to find answers to questions or "stuck points" in my life. It is an ongoing challenge in life. I don't think it will ever stop. It helps me grow to be a better human, husband, father and friend. 

I consider myself very fortunate to have gotten help. This blog would have not been written if it wasn't for getting help. I am not trying to offer advice. I am simply stating that if you are going through pain, It will end at some point. Never stop holding on to hope. When my friend Mike saved my life and I got better physically. It helps me today to know that even being the first human in the world to have stem cell for cluster headaches, that when I was told there was no more hope or help for me, that one person cared enough to send me to a special dr and I got fixed. That is enough proof that after 15 years of absolute torture that I got better. So when I faced this mental health crisis. I held on to HOPE. Shit did get better and it did get worse before it got better. I kept holding on to hope. And its helping.

Hold On Pain Ends

Sunday, May 15, 2022

H.O.P.E. Hold On Pain Ends ................3 years remission today

Remission....what a crazy word that has so much meaning. I won't use the word cured until I have passed away simply because I can not predict the future only hope and that is what my goal of todays blog is about.

3 years ago May 16, 2019 I was the first person to have stem cell specifically for cluster headaches aka suicide headaches or if you are technical trigeminal cephalalgia neuralgia. Whatever floats your boat please use....

They are not migraines. Not even close. different disease in fact and I have both. Actually I had 4 different headache types. Chronic clusters, chronic migraines, tensions and a 4th headache doctors were never able to diagnose and only guesstimate in treatment.

Since May 16,2019 My cluster headaches stopped as well as migraines, tensions and the 4th undiagnosable headache is about 80% gone. The 4th headache I use a low dose of Celebrex. I got relief from the 4th headache 1 year 8 months after stem cell therapy. Stem Cell regenerates for up to 2 years. Once that 2 year mark hits, that's how your health will remain with what's been repaired. You can have stem cell again and again.

I have had zero clusters and no migraines!

I suffered chronic migraines and tensions since earliest memory around age 8. clusters chronic since day one July25, 2005. 4th headache came 5 years after brain surgery. My aphasia came then too. 

When I first had stem cell MANY were not quick to congratulate me in the medical field because doctors base their findings on stats. Well, how's 3 full years? I have even been able to fly, drink alcohol, be under severe stress, smells, foods that used to trigger attacks etc. A lot of things I was never able to do with this disease. Like leaving the house without fear. Not walking around with a pocket full of meds. Its pretty great. When doctors in London On told me there was no more hope and to just go home. Well assholes. I am alive. And living my best life. Now life consists of getting older like most 50 year old's with arthritis and aches and pains. I wish my old neurologist would know this. He was dead against psilocybin which is a proven aid in preventing or stopping cluster headaches which has been proven time and time again to give relief this disease. Yet so easy for him to write harmful prescriptions with terrible side effects.  I am proud to know I have changed the course of history with survivors out there seeking some sort of treatment after failing at other treatments. I do acknowledge that I am an anomaly. I was a severe chronic cluster head  averaging 3-5 attacks per day for 15 years. long time. chronic migraines since age 8 and the 4th headache started 5 years after my 1st brain surgery Occipital nerve stimulation. deep brain stimulation followed after. 

Chronic cluster heads are 10% of population. having chronic migraines 5 per week. A rare case. I was the 2nd person in Canada at the time to have Deep Brain Stimulation, 1st in Ontario,17th in the world (2 did not make it), and now 1st in the world to have stem cell specially for clusters. It has been done specifically before me for migraines and been very successful.

I am living with PTSD, and a TBI, ongoing ulcers etc related from the disease and treatments I have endured.

I immensely regret my brain surgeries as it has left me with a lifetime of unrepairable brain injury, short term memory loss. I am not complaining I am just simply acknowledging the life I have. I  have had alot of gastro issues from 5 years of Toradol and over 10 using Aleve (NSAIDS). This has caused 2 ulcers, Bleeding and a lot of pain. 

I know my story of having a friend who happens to be a celebrity help me is wild. I am beyond grateful I no longer suffer the way I used too. I am sharing this story of hope. This isnt some BS story, A video below shows my procedure. I am not saying it will work for you. I am saying it worked for me and changed my life. So much that my wife and I packed up and moved across country to start a new life.

You can make your own assessment of my journey. If you read the rest of my blog you will see how stem cell changed much more than just my headaches, it also fixed a lot of other health problems I had. If I ever had the opportunity to do it again, I would in a nano second as I am confident it would help my back and knee arthritis.

I have never forgotten where I came from. And my heart bleeds for any cluster head trying to make another 24.

Pain Free Wishes. Do not give up HOPE. Hold On Pain Ends

For information regarding Stem Cell Treatment: Call Dr.Chris Calapai 516-794-0404 Garden City NY/516-433-3252 Plainview NY ( I am not paid to post this video by Dr. Calapai/done on my own merit of gratitude. )

Wednesday, April 6, 2022