There have been many days I have tried desperately to be as normal as anyone who isn't sick. Hiding the disease best I could. The older I got the harder it became to hide what I am or became.
I wrote about this already. Accepting. Alot of these blogs intertwin.
You or other might say...." A day off???" for someone who is on a disability pension that sits home? Yes I take a day to me sometimes. Lately more than normal. Its ok. It is ok to do jack squat. I think it was harder for me to accept a Me Day than anything. My whole life I never been lazy. I am a very hyper person who would rather be outside working or doing something than sitting doing nothing. I say to my wife all the time...
Sleeping is for when your dead.....and she laughs. I dont like sleeping. I dont like sitting around doing nothing. I like waking up early and getting the most of my day.
As of lately since my operations. There is way more many Me Days than I can count or want to. Most days I am recovering from my attacks, discomfort of the surgery. Its hard to accept I will never be the same.
I am NOT lazy,I do not like being like this. Id rather be more normal and productive than I am. I am 40 now and fighting CH is much different for me that is than fighting at 34. Worries me as the older I get but I must preservere, be strong and stay positive.
Those days of Me days are not watching the Daytona 500 and relaxing on my lazyboy with a coke. A me day now consists of staying in pajamas. Barely having a shower and if I have strength making something to eat. I love nothing more than being a great house husband to my wife and making sure the house is clean with dinner made. She knows its ok I dont and doesnt expect it.
My wife and son know when I am hurting. Either moody, irritable, exhausted and tired. Some days I just cant. And its ok. I have to remind myself as I write this that a Me Day has nothing to do with being tired. That its ok to take a Me day. If your reading this. And you have CH. Don't feel bad. Take it easy.Chillax.
Post a Comment