I am sure you have heard the slogan or term "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger". Or "God only gives us what we can handle?".
Apparently god thinks I am one heck of a bad ass then. Because seriously he is testing me every single day. And just when I wake up and think this nightmare is over, I relive it like ground hog day.
I have really thought in my life time that Cluster Headaches are the worst pain known to medical science. And truthfully it is without a shadow of doubt. Physical pain that is.
What I am talking about today is mental/emotional pain. Because that hurts way more.
I have had some seriously horrible cards dealt to me in my life time. Some self inflicted due to mistakes I made with people and other things way out of my control. Like getting sick. Like someone hurting me intentionally and maliciously. Those hurt far more. Because after 3 hours or less my cluster headache is gone. But the hole in my heart has gotten much deeper and painful. Even after a good cry. I still hurt. The tears are drying up because I am sucking it up like a buttercup.
Sometimes in life, we are told that challenges, and battles are just that. A learning experience what have you.
Because your best teacher is your last mistake. A wise man told me the other day " Your attitude changes your altitude". Although I have heard this before. It is true. I have always said that if I fall seven times get up eight. Its just tough when someone is pushing or holding you down as you try to get up. As much as I try to fix whats broke whether it be in my garage or my home. I do it with love and pride.
Its in my nature to want to help others. To be the pillow when someone crashes. To be the go to guy who either knows someone or can fix things. I pride myself on that because I like to help. I never thought Id be the one who is broken.
I have learned to fall 7x and get up 8. There is no such word as "Can't" in my vocabulary. I do not give up easy and give it my all. So if you are laughing at me because you think I failed, guess again because it only means I have not succeeded yet.
I never give up or give in. Giving up is not an option for me. If i haven't made it to the top it is because I am still climbing. Never look down on a person unless your hand is out helping them up.