Friday, January 15, 2016

Why me?

Why me? If you have any type of disease, illness, ailment. I can almost bet you have at some point asked yourself, why me?

A question that has been asked since time began....

I honestly don't think I asked myself why me until I had been sick quite some time. Most of ask "What the hell is happening to me and why?" Rather than, why me. It is also part of the 5 stages.

I have personal friends who are wealthy, I know some famous people. And I am sure they have asked themselves. Why me too. For them. Wealth and success can usually be summed up in special talents, hard work, creative minds, and also being in the right time and place. But that is a bit different than "Why me?" because we are sick.

This week has given me a chance to reflect on " Why Me " for so many reasons.

This week, Rene who is Celine Dion's husband has passed away from cancer. He had throat cancer. This is near and dear to my heart because my own father had throat cancer. They gave dad a 50/50 chance of living  in 2000. He is alive today. He lost his own speaking voice, Breathes through a hole in his neck. He had a full lyrengectomy. He speaks with a voice aid machine. Most people can not understand him. So why did dad live and Rene pass?

My mom. A very fresh passing to me and still very sore in my heart recently passed from brain cancer. I literally watched my mom die in 33 days. She had cancer throughout her body and it spread to her brain like most brain cancer patients. At the same time former President Jimmy Carter had brain cancer. My mom passed, yet Jimmy Carter survived and is in remission.

So why me comes into play. Why did dad survive? Why did Rene pass, George Harrison die and so many other people globally yet some live? Why did my mom have to die. Why did Jimmy Carter live and more?

This is the age old question that no one knows but God.

I have asked myself a million times, why did I get the worlds most painful disease known to medical science. What did I ever do that was so wrong to deserve this? I have never hurt anyone like this. I have never been in jail, robbed anyone, hurt someone physically, or done anything horrific or bad stuff. I am a good person. I help the homeless when I can. I am a good neighbour. I have helped my friends for no reason....I been an amazing father to my son. So why? Why did I get sick instead of some douche bag murderer or rapist. Why did I get sick? Why did dad survive? Why did mom pass?Why did Rene die and Carter live? Why, why why?

This is a question I can not answer for you yet shed some light on for you instead.

It took me many many years of being sick to finally realize why not me instead of why me. There is a purpose and plan to everyone and no this isn't biblically speaking. This is the fact that everyone has a purpose in life, a journey. Some of us figure it out. Some don't know what theirs is yet. You do not have to be a rock star, president, to have a journey, a purpose. You can be infamous, unheard of yet loved by more people, thought of more, than any celebrity.

My mom that passed, I think of her all the time. Everyday. And what she sacrificed for our family, what she gave and did for everyone, the people she had met and come in contact with over the years and how well liked she was. That is her legacy. She was loved and cherished by so many. So why did mom die of cancer? We all die. No one is infallible to death.  Weather CH kills me, or I get cancer or I die at 200 MPH with a smile on my face in a fast car. Then it was my time.

Instead of asking yourself why me. Try asking why not me? If you are reading this. You have survived 100% of your life to this very moment. This very second you have survived.

Having come close to death 3x in the last 10 years has helped me realize how quick it can happen, but it wasn't my time.  Until my time....I will continue to be here for my purpose. I don't ask myself why me anymore. My purpose far outweighs why me.

I care about you and why you are here. Keep continuing to live your purpose.

Suffering isn't a purpose. Surviving is.

I dedicate this to my mother who I love and cherish very much, I miss her every second and Ill see you soon.

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