Suicide is a permanent deicison to a temporary problem......a story of hope, healing and health.

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My dad.... May 10,1941 to April 20,2020

 I been trying to think today of what to write. I am filled with incredible emotion of great sadness and gratitude at the same time. My father passed away today, 1 year ago.

I guess todays blog is for me. Its all part of the grieving process and healing. I really had a tough time when my mom died and rightfully so. Like anyone, loosing a parent you love and cared for is deeply sadnening. I cried every single day for a year when my mother passed. And have done the exact same thing for dad. Eventually in time those tears turned to smiles when I think of my mother. I dont think I am anywhere near it now with dad. Time will tell.

My folks came from Switzerland(Originally Germany) when they immigrated to Canada on Canada Day July 1,1967. They came with my older estranged brother, my mom and dad and $25 to their name getting off the plane.

Prior to that. Dad grew up in war time. He vividly remembered the Nazis, the kind Americans who was kind to dad and the appreciation for a life in Canada when they arrived.

My father had quite the work history from starting out apprenticing in Germany at hotels that were castles. taking care of dignataries, presidents and so forth. His career switched to being an airline Pursor for CP Air. God, he loved flying but eventually gave it up to be home with his family. He then switched to selling cars. He held the record for two years straight with the highest sales in Canada. Selling over 370 cars in 1 year. In 1977 we moved back to Ontario where dad started selling cars again but soon hired at GM Diesel Division in London Ont. Where he worked until he went on permanent disability due to throat cancer in 2000.

Dad built Buses, Locomotives and even Terex trucks.He hated the job, as it was a hard factory life. Not the white gloves he was used to wearing. It paid well and allowed us to have a good life. He did it for us. NOT HIMSELF.

In 2000 dad got cancer. Throat cancer. He had to make a decision but asked my thoughts. He decided to persue having a full lyrengectomy. They removed his entire voice box. Already haveing 1 lung, emphizema didnt help him and made the rest of his life very difficult. Dad was often made fun of, starred at. Dirty looks, snears and comments from IGNORANT FUCKS who have no clue what he was dealing with. He constantly struggled with his health. Many days he tells me he wished he has not had the surgery but he beat the odds and lived 20 years as the life expectancy was 5 years.

My father and mom loved on another deeply and in a way I only understood after moms passing. He struggled badly with her loss. They are together again, home in heaven. This gives me peace.

My father had an increidble life. Met many celebrities, been around the globe 26x. and loved to travel, fish and CNN. 

Dad was very proud, and  happy for our life in Nova Scotia. I sincerely wished he could have seen it before he passed.

Dad, Kristen and I miss you terribly. Loosing you was the hardest thing we have had to live with. You were more than a dad, You were wisdom, compassion and the most generous person. Your memory will live in us every day. There are not enough words to express my grief. How sad we are but we are at peace and I owe that to you. I love you dad. Rest Easy xoxo

This was the last time I seen my dad alive in person and last time I hugged him alive.